Glum Romantic: a tribute to Noah

as we walk along the path we see the others beside us in blue

blue in the sense of the love that used to be there

cold but not empty

they want us to believe that when you go the love follows

in my universe, that's simply not the case

your parents played the twin peaks theme song at your funeral

is it twisted to envy the flair they gave you on your final goodbye?

with these endeavors the intention is to honor the love i still have

for you

for the teachings you gave me

for the laughter

for the model in which you showed me love

for friends

for lovers, ex-lovers and foes alike

how plausible our kinship of oddballs was

granted the spread of years between us all

the fifteen minute drive to you felt like such a long shot, at the time, in my 2004 blue explorer

but looking back that was nothing

compared to you being akin with the soil

i am eternally grateful that the love i have for you

for memories

for the music

for life will not be taken for granted by me, i say now

how quickly that can fade after the sharpness of new grief dulls

albeit it never leaves us;

how is it that you were the tenth friend or friend formerly, to no longer be on earth's level; and this stung harder than the rest

why did the others not hit me like you did

perhaps the guilt of being alive and the cyan tears streaming down my face finally felt real

not real in the sense of the love for others being amiss

real in the way that your goodbye was given to the airwaves

the way that i could not be held by and hold the people that loved you so much too

---

we camped with nothing but pabst blue ribbon beers and well-intention to our name

the empty tent a foreshadowing for life without companionship

life without love everlasting

when you go to your light

and when you decide you're done with humanity

the love that humanity has for you does not falter

it stirs like an oak tree in the breeze off the mississippi river for which i miss so much

how i wish i could hug you again; comforted by your gentle mannerisms

the grudges and the heartaches i once had, have left

as i know life is fleeting and it is too short, as they say

you would say find love in the suffering, cut them some slack, everybody deserves love

everybody deserves to watch twin peaks in your basement warm on the couch, warm on your friendship and wisdom

i was mistaken by your final goodbye as final was false;

you showed me your love is forever

you brought me on the evening of your funeral

a man with two layers of twin peaks attire

how bittersweet it is, you give me signs like clockwork, for which i will never get tired